Enemies with Benefits?
by Itachis-Only
Summary: Hidan damands to know what the 'relationship' between he and Kakuzu are, and Kakuzu finds a way to make him louder, in a more..pleasing way. Just in time for april 2nd: Hidan's bday. Happy Birthday Hidan-San!


(My first yaoi! Just in time for dear Hidan-San's birthday. *April 2nd* Hope you enjoy! Happy birthday Hidan-San!)

"You're such an asshole Kakuzu."

"Why because I don't dote on you?"

"Exactly! Bastard!"

"You act like we're a couple or something."

"Well aren't we?"

"...No."

"What the fuck! What are we then? And if you say fuck buddies I'll fucking kick your ass!"

"That'll be the day..." "You know, my birthday's coming up."

"So."

"Aren't you gonna do something for me?"

"No."

"Ass fuck."

"I wouldn't talk if I were you."

"KAKUZU!"

"Ug stop whining! You're so fucking annoying."

"Well maybe if you weren't such an ass I wouldn't be so annoying!"

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying I wouldn't be such an ass."

"Don't twist my words around!"

It was always like this. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. No wonder I'm always so irritable. I don't even know how this whole thing happened. One day we're trying to kill each other, and the next morning I wake up with him stark naked in my bed. With me. "Don't fucking ignore me!" My head snapped in his direction. "Would it be possible for you to shut. up?"

"Make me fucker!"

"Don't tempt me."

How did we get from one extreme to the next? It's always like that between me and Hidan. We can't find an easy medium.

"So?"

"So what, Hidan?"

"You never answered my fucking question you dickhead!"

"What question?"

"What the fuck are we!"

"We're humans...I think."

"Not what I fucking meant and you know it! I wanna know what the fuck we call this fucked up 'relationship' we have!"

"We don't HAVE a relationship. You're my bitch and that's that."

"You fucking wish!"

"Shut UP Hidan!"

My hands flew to my temples. This would be the third time I'd lost count of my money. "I swear if I have to start over one more time I AM going to kill you Hidan!" I growled.

"Come on Kakuzu. You and I both only wish I could die!"

"Ain't that the truth."

"That's mean Kakuzu!"

"You said it!"

"Fuck you!"

"Not right now Hidan we just did that a few hours ago."

"Fuckin sicko!"

I sighed and stood up from my desk, slamming my palms on the smooth, wooden surface. I turned slowly to face the annoying as hell immortal sitting on my bed. He jumped, leaning back away from me ever so slightly. I smirked beneath my mask and stalked over to him.

"Uh..Kakuzu?"

"What the fuck do you want now."

"What are you doing?"

"..."

"Kakuzu! Baka! Fucking answer me!"

My hand slammed over his mouth and I pushed him backwards onto the bed. He yelled my name, but thankfully, it was muffled. "Shut. The fuck. Up." I hissed. More unintelligeable words. "You're not shutting up." Somthing that sounded like fuck you. I smirked. "Gladly." His eyes widened and his hands flew to my wrist, trying to pry it form his mouth. Tendrils shot from my arms, tying his wrists above his head to the bedpost. I stradled him, enjoying watching him squirm. I glanced at the door. Closed. That was good. That usually meant it was locked as well. I looked back down at Hidan, for once glad that the man never wore a shirt, and hardly ever wore his cloak unless on a mission. I hummed my approval, running my free hand up his soft, pale chest. He shuddered, glaring up at me. "What? You brought this upon yourself you know. You want to be loud, so I'm giving you a reason." He tugged at his wrists, futily trying to free them. "That's not gonna work baka." I removed my hand from his mouth and ran both hands down his sides, earning another shiver.

"Kakuzu, you stupid fuck! Why do you always have to fucking tease me bastard!"

"Because it annoys you."

"Asshole."

I chuckled darkly, tendrils pulling my hood and mask off, dropping them on the floor. Hands on the immortals hips, I leaned forward and nipped at his neck. He bit back a moan. I smirked, repeating the notion, letting my tounge glide over the soft skin. A quiet moan escaped his lips, and I nipped down his neck to his nipples. I paused, looking into those captivating violet eyes.

"Asshole. Why d'you have to fucking tease me!"

"Now what would be the fun in jumping straight to sex?"

"..."

"Exactly. You like it and you know it so stop complaining."

He stuck his tounge out at me. Such a tempting gesture. I dipped my head back towards his chest, sucking one of his sensative nubs into my mouth. I heard him suck in a deep breath, encouraging me to continue. I ran my tounge over the pink bud, nipping at it. He moaned again. I continued sucking on the bud for a few moments, enjoying the sounds coming from his mouth, before getting bored and kissing down his abdomen to his pant line. I hooked my thumbs underneath his waistband, slowly pulling his pants down, boxers with them. I hummed approvingly at his semi-hard cock in front of me. My own erection grew at the sight. I slipped his pants off and dropped them on the floor, taking his cock in my hand and pumping it. He arched his back and my touch, moaning sensually. Tendrils worked fast to undo my cloak, quickly pulling it off along with my shirt. Clothes could be such a bother sometimes.

"J-just get on with it already you asshole!"

"Now WHAT would be the fun in that? Then I wouldn't get to watch you squirm!"

"Bastard!"

I chuckled. He could be so amusing sometimes. I put three fingers to his lips, giving him a simple command. "Suck."

"What the fuck! Hell no! Who know's where those hands have been!"

"I wouldn't complain, considering whats been in your mouth lately.."

"SHUT UP! Don't you buy lube?"

"Why waste my precious money when I have a free substituion that works perfectly fine hm?"

"Fucker!"

"Couldn't disagree with that."

"Kakuzu!"

I took his open mouth as an oppurtunity and shoved my fingers in his mouth. He glared daggers at me, but obediently started sucking. Tendrils quickly tugged my own pants and boxers down and off, dropping them on the floor. My hand left his cock, moving to my own to fully harden it. Couldn't do much with a semi-hard cock. He let out a muffled whine at the loss of my touch. "Oh be quiet." I growled. He tugged at the tendrils keeping his hands hostage, but I ignored him. Deeming the fingers to be wet enough, I pulled them from his mouth and positioned the first at his entrance, slowly pushing it in. He hissed, trying to pull his ass away from my touch. "What? You act like the fingers are worse than my dick or somthing."

"It's always weird at first! Shut up!"

"I figured you'd be used to it by now."

"Shut it asshole!"

I opened my mouth to retort as he slammed his mouth shut, glaring at me, daring me to say somthing. Not like he could do much about it, but I reamined silent anyway, an amused smirk playing over my lips. I pushed the finger the rest of the way in, moving it in circular motions, watching his facial expressions closely. His eyes were shut tightly and he was biting his lip, trying not to give in to the feelings. I inserted another finger and his mouth opened, letting out a strangled gasp. I sighed, leaning over him, and put my lips against his, slipping my tounge between his teeth. He jumped, clearly not expecting me to do this, but he immediately started wrestling with my tounge. I beat him of course, letting my tounge explore the insides of his mouth like it had done several times before then. I scissored my fingers a few times before inserting the third and final finger to stretch him out. I pulled my lips away from his for a moment, watching his eyelids flicker open, relvealing those beautiful violet eyes that are probably part of the reason I'm in this mess in the first place.

"Aw Kuzu-Chan. Come back!" He whined.

"Don't call me that baka. And quit whining."

I growled. I finished stretching him and pulled my fingers out, alligning my cock at his hole, placing my hands on his hips. I looked back up at his face.

"The fuck are you waiting for?"

He grumbled. I chuckled. "Well I wasn't really waiting for anything, but I'm sure I can think of a reason to put this off."

"N-no!"

"Quit complaining then."

"Alright alright!"

I thrust fully into him then, enjoying the loud moan that burst from his lungs.

"Auhn~! Sh-shit!"

I paused, letting him get used to the feeling, then started off at a slow pace.

"F-faster! Aahh~!"

Couldn't argue with that. I picked up speed, unable to get enough of the noises that flew from his lips.

"Mmnnn..aah! Fu-ck! Kakuzu!"

I liked how loud he was, doing nothing to shut him up. Quiet sex just..didn't do it for me. I was really starting to think Hidan was some sort of sex god. He seemed absolutely perfect in bed. Some people were just born lucky I guess. I could feel my climax coming, but I didn't miss a single beat, not slowing down. At this point, I wouldn't have been able to shut Hidan up if I wanted to. Which of course, I didn't. One of my hands left his hip, grasping his cock, pumping it, trying to keep time with my thrusts. They were a little slow of course, but it did it's job. Moments later,

"Ga-ah! KAKUZU!"

He came, screaming my name. Music to my ears. His seed splashed over my hand and onto his stomach and chest, sending me over the edge. I collapsed on top of him, both of us gasping for air. The tendrils around his wrists receeded, pulling back into my arms. Slowly, his hands wrapped themselves around my back, as if holding me to him.

"Wh-what the fuck are we."

"...Enemies with benefits."

"That do-oesn't even make fucking se-nse. What kind of enemies do THIS?"

"The kind with benefits."

"Asshole."

"Go to sleep Hidan."

He mumbled some unitelligable words and snuggled into me. I rolled off of him, laying on my back. Hidan cracked open an eye and scooted closer to me, resting his head on my chest, wrapping his arms back around my back. I sighed, putting my hands around his waist. Seemingly satisfied, he closed his eyes and started to drift into sleep.

"Night Kuzu."

"It's only the afternoon."

"Asshole."

"Hidan. Sleep."

"I fucking hate you."

"The feelings mutual."

He smiled, his breathing slowing, indicating he was asleep. I couldn't help but let a smile drift over my own lips. I pulled the blanket over us and closed my own eyes, enjoying the warmth of the smaller body next to me. Enemies my ass. Dammit Hidan. You drive me crazy in more way than one. As if I'd ever admit it...


End file.
